Disclaimer: The Characters used are the property of MGM and Trilogy. No financial or creative rights are claimed to the characters from the Magnificent Seven Television series. Rating: PG13 Warnings: Language Spoilers: Walking The Roots, Remembrance and Joy (my stories) Notes: Just a quick little bit that came to me today. Not beta-ed
"Vin,
Son, what's wrong?"
"I ain't sure Miz
Nettie. It's jes' that today reminds me of somethin'.
I gotta load of sorrow in my heart 'n I ain't rightly sure why. Ain't
felt like this since my ma died . . ." Vin thrummed his fingers on his
leg, blue eyes distant trying to reach for words to explain something that
seemed so out of reach. A young girl with blonde braids twined down her back,
so real he could almost touch them, so vivid was his dreaming. "Margaret
Ann."
"What Son? Who's Margaret Ann?" Nettie stood in front of Vin, her gentle, work-worn hands, still strong and vital,
cupped his chin. "Tell me, Vin."
"Ain't much t' tell, Miz
Nettie." Vin closed himself away tightly from Nettie
and she sensed this, trying not to push him, but knowing that he needed to talk
about it. Nettie walked to the Franklin stove and placed the coffee pot on top
to brew, waiting for Vin to gather his thoughts. She
was
confident that he would tell her, although it would only take some time and
patience and when it came to this boy, she had plenty of both.
Pensively, Vin flipped his hat off his boot, placing
it on the hearth. He removed his coat and then with slow, determined steps
walked toward Nettie. "She was a
friend of mine when I's jes' a kid. Best friend I
ever had. Stubborn mule of a gal, wouldn't let me be
'til I let her play. I done had a tree that was jes'
mine, nobody else's."
Vin laughed, a low sorrowed
laugh. "Ta think I could own a tree. Hell, I didn't
own nothing', no ma, no home, jes' a stupid kid thinkin' I could own a tree. They cut the damn thing down
'n Margaret Ann done died on me, too." Vin
brought a hand up to his heart, almost as though a physical pain tore through
him. Was that it? Was it Margaret Ann that sat heavy on him?
Nettie handed him a steaming cup of coffee and held her hand on his for a long
while. Eyes meeting, one sorrowed, one compassionate and then Nettie spoke,
breaking the gloomy silence. "Let's sit, Son."
A sigh sprung from him in his sadness as he sat back in the rocker, watching
the low flames of the fire. He knew he was being as melancholy as Larabee was
just last month. "This ain't right. Got plenty
t' be grateful for in my life now. You 'n the boys, Mary 'n
Billy. Hell, even
the Judge."
Vin ran his fingers through his hair and scrubbed his
face roughly as he felt a surprising sting of hot tears. "I done told
Chris t' remember the joy that was given t' ya by the ones ya loved, even
though they got took from ya. I told him that he shouldn't be so sorrowed all
the time that it ain't right t' be like that. It ain't right t' be sorrowed by their memories, t' honor them
with joy 'n flowers. Damn flowers . . . I guess I don't know what the hell I'm talkin' 'bout. Flowers cain't take the pain away. No wonder why Larabee, beat the crap out
of me."
"Vin Tanner!! No more of that kinda
talk. You're a good friend to Chris Larabee 'n what you told him was wise 'n
truthful. Mournin' needs t' be done 'n then with the
Good Lords help we've gotta git
on with livin'." Nettie reached out to Vin seeing the doubt settle on the boy, his shoulders bowed
and his head lowered.
"I know what the Good Book says. B'n readin' it with Mary. I know
'bout the time fer dyin', a
time fer bein' born 'n all
that, but sometimes it seems t' come back when ya ain't
'spectin' it 'n then yer mournin' again. Sometimes it jes'
don't never seem t' stay buried, t' stay put. Damn! I ain't
makin' a lick of sense." Vin
stood up and began to pace the small room.
He went over to the window, surprised to see Chris Larabee riding into
the homestead. "Aw hell, I ain't rightly in the
mood t' be talkin' t'
anybody."
Eyes haunted, Vin grabbed up his hat and coat, walking
to the door as Nettie scurried to his side, giving his arm a supportive
squeeze. "Listen t' me fer a moment, Son. It's alright t' mourn once 'n awhile.
Somethin' important has been takin' 'n ya cain't jes' mourn one day n' git on with it
the next. It takes time n' sometimes that sorrow comes back. That ain't wrong 'n it will happen now 'n again for the rest of
your days, but mournin' every day, every moment of
each day for the ones we lost, now that ain't right
because that ain't livin'
'n ya might as well jes' lay down 'n die
yerself then."
Nettie
turned to Vin and again forcibly wrapped those so strong
and comforting arms around him. "It's alright, Vin. It's
okay t' feel sorrow. But, ya gotta remember t' feel
the joy again, t' remember the departed 'n to sow those seeds t' plant those
flowers. Vin, talk t' Chris, he'll understand."
Vin felt the warm hands in his and nodded his head.
Her pale blue eyes bore into him, willing him back to calm.
"Vin, Nettie." Chris sat his horse,
the black of his clothing a sharp contrast against his light hair. "I
guess, Vin forgot that he was goin'
t' help me with my homestead today. You ain't backin' out on me now, are ya Tanner?"
Vin cursed under his breath. "My ma ain't raised me up t' be a liar, Larabee. If'n I said I'd help ya t'day,
reckon that's what I'll be doin'."
Vin gave a quick squeeze
to Nettie's hand and walked down the steps toward Chris. "Jes' let me git, Peso 'n we'll be
on our way."
Nettie and Chris watched Vin as he ambled towards the
barn with unhurried strides, bringing a smile to both. Chris glanced towards
Nettie and nodded his head at the question in her sharp eyes. "All takin' care of Nettie.
Mary helped me out all last month."
Nettie smiled at that and spoke, sadness edged her words. "His feelin' a little low t'day, Chris
'n he's doubtin' himself. Talk
t' him, but maybe it ain't words he needs. Maybe ya
have jes' the cure for him." Nettie patted the
gunman's leg as he sat hunkered low in his saddle, a happiness filling
him.
"Nice
t' see you're not angry with me anymore, Nettie. Though, I don't blame ya. Took
me all this time t' forgive myself, but I don't think I ever really will. Maybe
this will make up for it, a little anyway."
"It will, Chris. He doesn't blame ya. Keep that close t' yer heart. Ya've got a good
friend in that man." Nettie turned to see Vin
appear on the blazed-face gelding as he sidled up to Chris. "Well,
daylight's burnin'.
Let's git. Nettie." Vin brought fingers to hat brim and gave a nod to
Nettie, eyes expressing gratitude.
"Good bye, boys." Nettie climbed the steps and wrapped her arms
around her waist as she watched the men ride off into the green grasses of late
spring. The rains were plentiful this year. This
pleased Nettie immensely as her thoughts remained on Vin.
~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~
The
ride was quiet and Chris waited, not prodding, knowing from experience that
good intentions only led to angry feelings. How many times did he bring hurt to
so many that showed him kindness? A sigh trembled through him as he thought of
that moment when he turned Vin's beaten face toward
him. In time he might forgive himself, but right now that sight kept him sober
and Vin's words kept him grateful for everything,
maybe even joyful. Chris let out a low laugh thinking of him and joy, not
seeing that as a likely match, but here he was just about bursting with it.
"Race ya." Chris let his black out, not giving Vin
a chance to respond and turned to look back, seeing the younger man cursing and
kneeing Peso into a gallop. Loud whoops released as the men raced, Vin catching up to Chris, finally reaching the homestead in
a dusty rush of horse and man and Vin not looking ahead, but over at Larabee.
"Well, Tanner, what do ya think?" Chris extended out his arm in a
sweeping gesture, a grin widened across his face.
A puzzled look came to Vin, as he knew the cabin and
all its warts, horned toad ugly like the one he lived in with his ma. Maybe,
that's why he came here so much. He never thought about that until now, today
seeming to be a day of pondering.
“‘Bout what, Larabee?
Nothin' I ain't seen b'fore. A broken
down shack that's harder on the eyes than an ugly horned toad." Vin shifted, turning
to follow Larabee's gaze and then sat gape-mouthed, his eyes popping, as he
slowly dismounted. "Damn, Chris. That's a beautiful sight
for sore eyes." Again, hot tears rose and he wiped them away, feeling
ashamed
by the rising sentiment in him. "How?"
"I used the seeds from the flowers ya gave me. Just spread 'em around 'n one day I came ridin'
up 'n there they were. All the purples and yellows and reds.
There's the black-eyed Susan over there, and coneflowers there. Mary helped out
too."
Vin rolled back on his heel, a low quiet laugh coming from him as he watched Chris
point out different flowers and fuss with the ones that seemed to be drooping,
calling to Vin to get water and Vin feeling the joy again, knowing it was all right
to feel the sorrow, as well.
Chris yelled out to Vin. "Come on Tanner. Ya
promised t' help out. I'm waiting on that water."
"Hold on, Larabee. They're jes' a bunch of damn
flowers." Vin laughed and shook his head, knowing they were more than
that, grabbing up a bucket and getting water. "Damn flowers."
Please
email (KBJ)
Kimberly with any comments.